What are things parents should never say to their child? (2023)

What should a parent never say to a child?

Ellen Perkins wrote: "Without doubt, the number one most psychologically damaging thing you can say to a child is 'I don't love you' or 'you were a mistake'.

Hurting words slash at a child's self-confidence: "You're stupid." "What a slob!" "You're disgusting." "You're worthless." Helping words show you care and make a child feel worthwhile and secure: "You can do it." "Great job." "You're beautiful." "I'm proud of you."

Gaslighting may occur when a parent criticizes a child but couches it as an expression of caring or emotional support, leaving the child to question his or her reaction. It can occur when a parent insists that a child's memory of a particular event isn't the way it happened, too.

Toxic parents create a negative and toxic home environment. They use fear, guilt, and humiliation as tools to get what they want and ensure compliance from their children. They are often neglectful, emotionally unavailable, and abusive in some cases. They put their own needs before the needs of their children.

A toxic mother is a mother who consistently ignores your stated boundaries, withholds love, or invalidates your feelings in any way, displays toxic traits, and these may manifest in more ways than those stated here.

Being frequently yelled at as a child can even impact how we think and feel about ourselves in adulthood. In fact, being yelled at increases the activity of the amygdala in the brain. Studies show that an overactive amygdala can cause stress, which plays a significant role in developing depression.

What yelling does to a child?

It's been shown to have long-term effects, like anxiety, low self-esteem, and increased aggression. It also makes children more susceptible to bullying since their understanding of healthy boundaries and self-respect are skewed.

"Parents consider high-rates of single parent families, a lack of trust amongst neighbours, and the presence of graffiti, rundown buildings and heavy traffic as being indicative of an unsafe environment, while children feel safer than their parents if the streets are better lit and if there is more greenery," Côté- ...

Hurtful words can have a negative impact and begin to affect intimacy. The residual effects of the harsh and aggressive words begin to cause more anger and disconnect in the relationship.

The term “toxic” parent is a bit nebulous and we probably all define it differently. However, it often refers to parents who are abusive, emotionally immature, have narcissistic traits, or struggle with other personality disorders, mental illnesses, or addiction.

Emotional abuse includes: humiliating or constantly criticising a child. threatening, shouting at a child or calling them names. making the child the subject of jokes, or using sarcasm to hurt a child.

Here are some common gaslighting phrases parents may use, according to Spinelli: You are crazy. You are making a big deal out of nothing. You are so sensitive.

“You never do anything right.” “I do everything for you, what else do you want from me.” “It's your fault your dad/mom left me!” “When I die, don't come to visit me in my grave.”

What age is the hardest for parents?

While cases vary across parents, a survey of more than 2,000 moms showed that parents of 12- to 14-year-old teens had a harder time than parents of toddlers, elementary school children, high school children, and adult children.

Cue the cabinet slamming, yelling, or stomping around the room as you let your partner know just how upset you are. Because that's the thing about mom rage: It's a kind of seething — but also surprising — rage that can feel very difficult to control. And it can be set off by the smallest of things.

Emotionally absent or cold mothers can be unresponsive to their children's needs. They may act distracted and uninterested during interactions, or they could actively reject any attempts of the child to get close. They may continue acting this way with adult children.

Parents who carry a promise of love and care, while at the same time mistreat their child, are called toxic parents. Almost all toxic parents say they love their children, and they usually also mean it. But love involves much more than just expressed feelings. Real love towards children is also a way of behaving.

They fear emotions

In emotionally immature people, deep emotion can easily overwhelm them. These parents often dismiss their children's feelings or disallow them to show them. Children are discouraged from expressing their feelings or talking about them freely.

Four types of emotionally immature parents are described: Emotional/anxious, driven/perfectionist, passive/avoidant, rejecting/mean.

Beating is considered as the correct method to discipline children, teach manners and respect, or put them in their place.

In most cases, manipulative parents refer to parents who use covert psychological methods to control the child's activities and behavior in such a way as to prevent the child from becoming an independent adult apart from their control.

Signs you have a controlling mother may range from mildly annoying comments to frequent arguments. She may often: Offer you unsolicited advice. Criticize your decisions about your relationships, career, or money.

How an angry mother affects a child?

It can make them behave badly or get physically sick. Children react to angry, stressed parents by not being able to concentrate, finding it hard to play with other children, becoming quiet and fearful or rude and aggressive, or developing sleeping problems.

Yes, over time, verbal abuse can be traumatizing for children and adults alike. To protect yourself from the psychological harm of being yelled at, talk with a trusted healthcare provider, social worker, or teacher about how to address the situation.

Yelling at a child is abusive when it is repeated, sustained, and intended to be harmful. Yelling at a child to say they're dumb, slow, lazy, or other things like “a mistake”, is abusive.

A happy child plays, exhibits curiosity, shows an interest in things and other children; an unhappy child tends to need constant attention, they are withdrawn, quiet, and don't eat much. They tend not to get involved with other children and don't ask questions or speak very much.

“For instance, a baby may not remember explicitly the time they were yelled at in the kitchen booster seat when they were 6 months old, but their body remembers the way it recoiled, the way it pumped blood to increase oxygen to the muscles in response to feeling unsafe,” Keith explains.

Some scientists now believe that extreme feelings of guilt in children, such as the ones Thomas felt, can be a strong warning sign for mental disorders such as depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), and bipolar disorder later on in life.

Emotional abuse happens when a child is repeatedly made to feel worthless, unloved, alone or scared. Also known as psychological or verbal abuse, it is the most common form of child abuse. It can include constant rejection, hostility, teasing, bullying, yelling, criticism and exposure to family violence.

The middle school years have been called the meanest in terms of bullying — this is an age where students taunt others without apparent empathy for the harm they are causing. According to the Centers for Disease Control, nearly one-third of children age 12 to 18 have reported being the victims of bullying.

At age 3 or 4, many children are stringing together short sentences. That means they may even begin to express their love for you with actual words and phrases. You might hear "I love you, Mommy" or "Your skin is so soft" or even "I want to marry you and be together forever." They all mean the same thing.

Should you cry in front of your child?

It is absolutely okay and encouraged to display emotions in front of your children. If you're sad, cry. If you're upset, be big mad.

That the hardest sounds for children to learn are often the l, r, s, th, and z is probably not surprising to many parents, who regularly observe their children mispronouncing these sounds or avoiding words that use these letters. Typically, such behavior is completely normal for children.

Hurtful messages – words that result in pain. Commonly these messages are combinations of profanity, threats or attacks on appearance, competencies, origins or character.

Words hurt just like sticks and stones.

and others have shown that there are physical and emotional consequences of “just” verbal abuse.

There are some things that are generally considered “bad” by anyone. Physical abuse, neglect, emotional abuse, and sexual abuse are the most serious and damaging behavior traits that most of us equate with bad parenting. These are things that should be immediately addressed with professional help.

"Disrespectful parents are resisting of boundaries set by their children because they believe that they have that right to do as they please because they're the parents," says Aluisy.

Forget the terrible twos and prepare for the hateful eights ‒ parents have named age 8 as the most difficult age to parent, according to new research. Eight being the troublesome year likely comes as a surprise to many parents, especially since parents polled found age 6 to be easier than they expected.

What are signs of toxic parents?

It's been shown to have long-term effects, like anxiety, low self-esteem, and increased aggression. It also makes children more susceptible to bullying since their understanding of healthy boundaries and self-respect are skewed.

Negative parenting is a culmination of neglectful or harmful actions and behaviors that can impact a child's development and mental well-being, sometimes into adulthood. While some actions might be purposeful, parents often do not realize their actions — or lack thereof — can have a lasting effect on their child.

Some of the common signs of a toxic parent or parents include: Highly negatively reactive. Toxic parents are emotionally out of control. They tend to dramatize even minor issues and see any possible slight as a reason to become hostile, angry, verbally abusive, or destructive.

Toxic parents can be abusive, unsupportive, controlling, and harsh. Growing up with toxic parents can affect your physical and mental health, putting you at risk for substance use, low self-esteem, and relationship difficulties.

The 20s...it's the phase where so many things change in our lives and it all happens so fast. There's angst, discovery, unpredictability and a sense of self-realization. It's the time we truly leave childhood behind and enter a whole new world of responsibility.

They become quite independent as they reach 5-6 years of age, even wanting to help you with some of the chores! This is probably why most parents look at age 6 as the magical age when parenting gets easier.

According to a recent survey of nearly 2,000 families, 40 percent of parents found their children to be the most lovable/fun at the age of 5. Meanwhile, they found kids to be the most difficult to spend time with between the ages of 10 and 12.

Making fun and teasing them in front of others:

It may seem funny to tease your child in front of others but it may hurt him/her from within. Your kid will grow up with negative thoughts and fear for certain things in life, or maybe lack of confidence.

What should you never ask a new mom?